中西文化差异在社交礼仪英语
It is also appropriate to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Children should always address adults in the formal fashion, using their title and last name. Another difference is about the form of addressing. From the viewpoint of sociolinguistics, forms of addressing can serve as an indication of the relationship of power and solidarity in the society. In calling their superiors or elders, the Chinese are accustomed to the nonreciprocal or asymmetrical addressing, in other words. They use “title +surname” to address their superior or elders rather than call them surnames, while the superior or elders call the addressers their names. The Chinese tend to abide by the polite principle of depreciating oneself and respecting others to show appropriate respects towards the persons being addressed, otherwise, the addresser may be considered as ill mannered, ill educated or rude. But in English speaking countries, people have a tendency to follow the reciprocal or symmetrical addressing. Although they are different in age and status, they can call the other directly, namely, their names, even first names except when they call the doctors, not arousing offence between them, but demonstrating the sense of intimacy and the conception of” Everyone is created equal” . Chinese people feel unnatural addressing a westerner by his given name, feeling that it indicates too close a relationship, and westerners, on the other hand, may feel that if a Chinese insists on using his surname, it indicates an unwillingness to be friendly and maintains a gap between them. So the use of forms like” Miss Mary” or “Mr. Smith ” may be a Chinese forms of compromise. With Miss Mary, the use of the given name indicates friendliness, but the addition of the title indicates the respect they feel they ought to show. And with Smith, the lack of a title indicates friendliness, but the use of the surname prevents if sounding too intimate. However, both addressing used by the Chinese sound very strange and uncomfortable to the westerner. 3.Compliments and ResponseTo compliment is to praise the addressee’s virtues, ability, behavior, appearance, clothing, personality and belongs. Appropriate compliments can serve as effective supplementary means in inter-personal communication. Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliment. An western hostess, if she is complimented for her cooking skill, is likely to say,” Oh, I am so glad that you liked it. I cook it especially for you.” Not so is a Chinese hostess, who will instead apologize for giving you “Nothing”. They will say“随便作几个菜,不好吃 。”If translate this into English“I just made some dishes casually and they are not very tasty. Perhaps the foreigner will think why you invite me to you family and have the untasty food. You aren't respect me. The English-speaking people are more active to praise others and to be praise than Chinese people. For example, the Americans are “straight forwardness”, the Chinese take pride in “modesty”. That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an Americans table, for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer and the Americans hosts take ”no ” to mean “no ”, whether it is the first, second or third time. Still bigger differences exist in people’s attitude towards compliments, i.e., in the response to compliments. Chinese are tend to efface themselves in words or refuse it, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments . So many westerners simply feel puzzled or even upset when their Chinese friends refused their compliments. The Chinese people are not intending to be modest with the sacrifice of friendship in so doing, but it is rather due to the traditional Chinese philosophy, that of modesty. The Chinese people regard modesty as a most valuable virtue, so they seldom agree to the compliment on their own.
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