《送给女友的礼物》
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
英语语法
英语语法基于日耳曼语源，虽然一些18世纪和19世纪的学者试图把法语和古拉丁语的语法应用于英语，但是并不成功。英语与其他所有的印欧语系语言相比，没有那么复杂的屈折变化，也失去了几乎所有阴阳性变化，基本上，英语除了人称代词以外，已失去了性和格的分别了，它更强调词语间相对固定的顺序，也就是说英语正朝向分析语的方向发展(如猫尾可以写作cat tail，而不必写作cat's tail，这里的猫cat直接用了词根原形，而没用属格词缀cat's)。
英语的基本语序为SVO，且基本上不能任意变换语序，除了在少数诗词以外;另一方面，有时英语会使用OSV的语序。如下所示：
There are birds flying in the sky/(天空有飞鸟)
此句直译为：那里、是、鸟、飞、(介词)、(定冠词)、天空
Jennifer saw Brittany/(珍妮佛看见了布里特妮)
此句直译为：珍妮佛、看见了、布里特妮。
英语中仍然保留的曲折变化有：
所有格：He is Fred's best friend. -'s
动词的第三人称单数：Alfredo works. -s
过去时：Fred worked. -ed ，但亦有不规则变化。
现在分词/进行时态：Fred is working. -ing(如果动词的末音节为辅音结尾的闭音节，则须双写末辅音，如running)
过去分词：The car was stolen. -en;Fred has talked to the police. -ed，但亦有不规则变化。
动名词：Working is good for the soul. -ing
复数：Fred has two blue eyes. -s(如果名词的尾字是s、x或sh，则需加-es，如boxes，dishes)
比较级：Fred is smarter than Rick.形容词末尾加-er，多音节(3+)在前面加more，如“more difficult”
最高级：Fred has the fastest car.形容词末尾加-est，多音节(3+)词在前面加most，如“the most difficult”
比起其他印欧语系的语言，虽然英语的屈折变化数量大幅减少，但名词、动词等依旧有相当数量的不规则变化与强变化。
英语中所有的词可分成十大类，每一类词在句子中都有其特定的位置和作用。