英文笑话「经典」

时间：2022-12-04 21:39:00 英语笑话我要投稿

英文笑话精选5则「经典」

　　爱因斯坦与上帝

英文笑话精选5则「经典」

　　Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord..."God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." "Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

　　爱因斯坦登上西奈山与上帝近距离交谈。仰望着上帝，他问道：“神啊，一百万年对于你来说相当于什么呢?”上帝回答：“一分钟。”爱因斯坦问：“一百万元对于你来说又相当于什么呢?”上帝回答：“一分钱。”爱因斯坦问：“能给我一分钱吗?”上帝说：“请等一分钟。”

　　勇敢的猪的下场

　　I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He’d just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.

　　Dad was chatting up a farmer’s wife once，when I discovered this pig...

　　It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well, I was as curious as could be, so I asked the farmer:"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"

　　"Well, boy. That is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."

　　"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"

　　"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids."

　　"Then why does the pig have a wooden leg?"

　　"I told you, boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!"

　　"Yes, sir. But why does he have a wooden leg!"

　　"Boy, a pig like that, you don’t eat all in one sitting!"

　　我小的时候生活在华盛顿。到了周末，爸爸常常带我们到南部的卡罗莱纳州去玩。正是在那里我们看到了什么是“真正的生活”。爸爸会沿路开一会儿车，然后把车停在路边，找农场里的人聊聊天。

　　正当爸爸和一个农妇聊天时，我发现了这只猪……

　　那只猪很漂亮，可只有三条腿，右后腿还是用木头做的!我对这点很好奇。于是就问那个农民：“先生，为什么你的猪有一只木头腿啊?”

　　“是这样的，孩子。这是一只勇敢的猪。有天晚上，我和妻子正在房里睡觉时，这只猪跑进来叫醒了我们，我们才知道房子着火了。我们立刻跑了出去，才保住了性命。”

　　“这只猪的腿是在那场火灾中烧坏的吗?”

　　“不是的，它完好无损地跑了出去。实际上，它甚至还跑了回去，把我们的孩子也救了出来。”

　　“那为何这只猪会有一只木头腿呢?”

　　“我已经告诉你了，孩子。那是只勇敢的猪!一只英勇的猪!它救了我们全家人的性命!”

　　“是的，先生。可是为何它有只木头腿呢?”

　　“孩子，像这样的猪，我们是不舍得一次就把它吃光的!”

　　吠狗不咬人

　　The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”

　　倒霉的蚂蚁

　　Once there was a golfer whose ball landed on an anthill(蚁冢).

　　Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty

　　swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything moved

　　but the golf ball. It sat on the same spot.

　　So he tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand ants went flying again. The

　　golf ball didn't even wiggle.

　　Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other. "Whoa! What are we going to

　　do?"

　　Said the other ant, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."

　　从前有个高尔夫球手，他把球打到了一座蚁丘上。

　　他没有移动球的位置，而是决定就地击球。于是他使劲一挥球杆，尘土和着蚂蚁，四处飞扬

　　。所有的东西都动了，除了那只球，它呆在原地，一动没动。

　　于是，他准备再次出击。又是一阵尘土飞扬，蚂蚁们也再次跟着遭殃。而高尔夫球还是纹丝

　　不动。

　　两只蚂蚁幸免于难，一只晕晕乎乎地对另一只说：“哇，我们怎么办啊?”

　　另一只蚂蚁说：“我不知道你怎么想，但是我准备爬到那只球上去。”

　　第一次坐飞机

　　First Flight

　　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."

　　第一次坐飞机

　　约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。

　　他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

　　过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是?”

　　“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”

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