怎样和你不喜欢的人一起工作
Sometimes in your career, you will come across having to work with people you don’t like. So, how do you work with them? Admittedly, it is a huge challenge for many people,but it is a fact of working life. No matter how much we do not like it, the interactions are crucial to get work done.
在你的职业生涯中，有时你不得不与你不喜欢的人一起共事。那么，你该如何同他们一起工作呢？诚然，对于许多人来说，这是一个巨大的挑战，但这就是工作中的现实。无论你多么讨厌它，但其中的交互作用对完成工作都是至关重要的。
Many newbies and veteransalike are caught asking this question day-in and day-out at work – how do I work with people I don’t like? Should I force myself to do it? Pretend I like them? Do I really leave my values at home when I go to work?
在职场中，许多新人和老人都会日复一日地陷入问这个问题的怪圈而不可自拔——如何与我不喜欢的人共事？是否应该强迫自己与之共事呢？是否要假装我喜欢他们？在工作中我是否真的要舍弃自己的价值观呢？
The answer is – no, you do not have to. Of course the remedy may not be easy. It will entail you having to step out of your ego for a while to see what is truly happening and to give you clarity of the situation. That stepping out of your own ego is the toughest to do. But it is a worthwhile step. When you are able to do it, it feels like a huge stone is lifted off your heart.How to work with people you don’t like? Try these 3 steps individually or in combination.
答案是——不， 你不需要那么做。当然， 解决办法不那么简单。你必须暂时放下自尊，看看到底发生了什么，以便让自己认清形势。放下自尊是一件最艰难的事情，但同时也是值得尝试的一个举措。当你能够放下自尊，你会觉得心里像是搬走一块巨石。如何与你不喜欢的人共事呢？将以下三种方法分别尝试一下或组合在一起试试吧。
Engage
吸引注意
To engage in this case means to communicate with them. Step out of your own ego to get yourself to sincerely talk to them. You may be pleasantly surprised that the other person wants to talk too.To engage also means not to hold any grudges against the other person. Face the issue with the other party and discuss whatever challenges you may have candidly. Say what you mean politely. You can be stern but do not be rude. The important thing about how to work with people you don’t like is to be sincere about it.
吸引注意在这种情况下意味着与他们交流。你要放下自尊，真诚地与他们交谈。很可能你会喜悦地发现别人也想与你聊天。吸引注意同时还意味着你不能抱有怨恨他人的想法。与对方一起直面这个问题，坦率地讨论你可能怀有的质疑，婉转地说出你想表达的意思。你可以严肃，但绝不可以粗鲁。与不喜欢的人共事，重要的一点是态度要真诚。
When you are sincere,you are seeking a win-win situation. Think about this, when you engage this person,being sincere is also a transfer of feelings, which means you want the other person to know that you genuinely want tosettle any animosity you have with each other. It helps you in the long run too.
当你的态度真诚时，你是在寻求一种双赢的局面。想想看， 当你吸引了这个人的注意时，真诚也会让你的态度感染对方。它意味着你想让对方知道你真的想消除你们之间存在的任何敌意。这个方法从长远来看也是有利于你的。
Enlighten
了解彼此
Have you ever tried to enlighten them about yourself? Have you ever tried to enlighten yourself about them? Perhaps one reason you do not like them is that you do not understand them. And because of it, whatever they do doesn’t seem right. Then all the negativity feeds on each other and the animosity grows.
你是否曾尝试过让他们了解你呢？你是否曾尝试让自己去了解他们？也许你不喜欢他们的一个原因是你不了解他们。正因如此，他们的所作所为在你看起来才不恰当。然后所有这些消极性会侵蚀彼此，让敌意滋长。
Seek to allow them to get to know you personally.The information about you may enlighten them about you. It gives them insight into who you are, why you do those things and the way you do them. When people understand you more, there is a better chance they will begin to like you. Of course, there is no guarantee it will work. At the very least there is a chance.
想方设法让他们了解你这个人。关于你的信息可能会令他们熟悉你。那会让他们深入了解你这个人，你为什么会做那事以及你的做事方法。当人们更多地了解你时，他们才很有可能开始喜欢你。当然，不能保证这一定能奏效。但至少这是一次机会。
Get to know them on a more personal level too.Enlighten yourself about them. What makes them tick, what you do disturbs them or even irritates them? Perhaps with this piece of information you may start to know how to work with people you don’t like.
你也要从私人的角度更多地了解他们。你要弄明白他们工作的动力是什么，你做什么事会妨碍到他们或甚至使他们发怒。也许从这些信息中你可以开始学会如何与你不喜欢的人共事。
Entertain
取悦他人
To do this, first you must be able to have a sense of humor. Sure, to have a sense of humor around someone you don’t like is tough. But the tougher thing is that you should have a sense of humor when the situation becomes tense and when you feel animosity. Cracking a joke and looking at the lighter side of things can break a smile on the face of people you don’t like.
要做到这点， 首先你一定要拥有幽默感。当然， 对着一个你不喜欢的人产生幽默感挺不容易的。而更加困难的是，当形势变得紧张并且你感受到敌意时，你更应具备幽默感。讲讲笑话， 多考虑事情较好的那面，能让你不喜欢的.人面露微笑。
When you do that you can be someone fun to work with. Perhaps you never think of it, but you are someone who is tough to work with. Have you ever considered you are part of the problem?
如果你能做到以上那些，你就能成为一个有趣的共事者。或许你从未想过， 你可能是个很难共事的人。你是否考虑过你也是问题的一部分呢？
Ask yourself, are you fun to work with? Do you complain and gossip a lot? Perhaps you are too dogmatic with certain things. You could entertain the person with an afterwork drink. Or invite the person out for lunch. Sometimes it takes more than one session for the person to open up. At the very least, they do feel your sincerity. In a less formal situation people can open up and speak more frankly.
问问自己，你是个有趣的共事者吗？你经常抱怨或议论是非吗？也许你对某些问题过于固执己见。你可以招待那个人下班后喝一杯。或者邀请那个人一起吃顿午饭。有时候需要不止一次地尝试， 对方才会敞开心扉。但至少他们能感受到你的真诚。在不那么正式的场合，人们往往更容易敞开心扉，开诚布公地交流。
Assuming the above is difficult to do, try to entertain yourself by the tough questions and resistance coming from the person. In work situations, you know the people whom you don’t like is likely to raise toughquestions in order to make them difficult for you. It can be very satisfying when you are able to answer them. Dogged determination can wear even the most difficult person down.
假设以上方法太困难了，那么就尽可能地从来自这个人的棘手问题和阻挠中获得愉悦吧。在职场中， 你知道你不喜的人很可能提出棘手的问题，用以给你造成困难。当你能够解决它们时，你会非常满足。坚定的决心能使最难相处的人折服。
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