9分雅思大作文深度讲解

时间：2024-08-15 17:56:50 雅思(IELTS) 我要投稿

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9分雅思大作文深度讲解

　　In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

9分雅思大作文深度讲解

　　构思过程：

　　独居，也就是一个人生活，显然有利有弊，如果选择一边倒观点显然都站不住脚，很难论证，需要分开讨论平均用力。主体段一段写好处，一段写坏处。抽象类话题往往在寻找观点上比较困难或者没有方向，建议大家按照文波雅思教授的方法分类提取观点。本篇考官分别从个人和经济的角度出发，层次分明论证清晰，值得大家学习。

　　Introduction

　　1)背景导入，说尤其在发达国家的大城市，最近几年独居变得更为常见。

　　In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone,particularly in large cities in the developed world.

　　(句型结构：It + adj. + for sb. to do sth. + 后置状语补充，注意完成时has become;注意particularly的用法，举特例方便直接，类似especially但语气更强; in the developed world比in developed countries更地道;far more修饰normal代入感强)

　　2)观点句，我认为这个趋势的影响好坏各半。

　　In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.

　　(句型结构：简单句+后置状语;虚拟语气could have;consequences高分词;in equal measure高分搭配)

　　Main Paragraphs 1

　　1)段首概括，一个人住在个人和宏观经济上都有好处。

　　The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons.

　　(句型结构：被动+后置状语并列;主语the rise in one-person households替换more people choose to live alone，地道高分搭配准确;seen as语法得分点;personal & broader economic词汇得分点)

　　2)分论点1：个人层面上，独居的人可能变得比和家人一起住的人更独立自强(常见观点)

　　On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members.

　　(句型结构：前置状语+主语who从句+谓语比较级+宾语who从句，高分复合句;self-reliant高分词，展示词汇量)

　　3)举例论证+线性推理展开：独居年轻人需要学做饭，做家务，付账单，管账等重要的生活技能;这样的人增加了就是种正面的发展

　　A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills; an increase in the number of such individuals can certainly be seen as a positive development.

　　(句型结构：主语从句+插入语+不定式并列+宾语all of which从句;简单分句+被动;valuable得分词;an increase语法得分点;such individuals指代准确，语法和词汇得分点)

　　4)分论点2：经济角度上看，独居的趋势会导致住房需求增加(加分观点)

　　From an economic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result ingreater demand for housing.

　　(句型结构：前置状语+后置定语+简单句;trend towards living搭配准确，词汇和语法得分点;result in学术搭配，词汇得分点;demand for housing词汇得分点)

　　5) 举例说明展开：这样会让建筑公司，房产中介和其它依赖业主购买产品的公司获益。

　　This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.

　　(句型结构：简单句+宾语并列+宾语that从句;likely to benefit学术搭配，词汇得分点;construction industry & estate agents展示词汇量;rely on homeowners词汇得分点)

　　Main Paragraph 2

　　1)段首概括：上述个人和经济的论点可以反向考虑;(简介易懂，挂钩前文暗含对比，CC满分技巧)

　　However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle.

　　(句型结构：转折+简单句被动;given above非谓语修饰，语法得分点;be considered from学术搭配，词汇语法得分点;the opposite angle词汇得分点)

　　2)分论点1：和独立的好处相比，独居的人会感觉孤独、隔离和不安(常见观点)

　　Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry.

　　(句型结构：前置状语+主语从句+宾语并列;rather than无痕迹对比，语法和CC得分点;loneliness & isolation高分词)

　　3)举例对比+论证展开：他们错过了家人或室友提供的对话和支持，还要承担过重的家庭账单和职责;这样来说，这个趋势就是负面的

　　They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flatmates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills and responsibilities; in this sense, perhaps the trend towards living alone is a negative one.

　　(句型结构：简单句并列+宾语从句+简单分句;miss out on地道搭配;emotional support, daily conversation & flatmates词汇加分点;bear the weight of高分搭配，词汇得分点;a negative one指代准确避免重复，语法得分点)

　　4)分论点2：从经济角度来说，住房需求增加会推高房价和租金(加分观点)

　　Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents.

　　(句式结构:前置状语+简单句;the financial point of view替换an economic perspective;likely to push up学术搭配;property prices & rents词汇得分点)

　　5)对比论证+说明展开：虽然让企业获益，但大众包括独居的人都要面临更高的居住成本

　　While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.

　　(句式结构：让步句+插入语补充+被动;be faced with地道搭配;rising living costs词汇得分点)

　　Conclusion

　　1)一句话总结：独居增加对个人和经济影响有好有坏

　　In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy.

　　(句式结构：总结+简单句+宾补;detrimental不利的，高分词，beneficial & detrimental替换positive & negative;两个on介词短语并列，语法得分点)

　　评分

　　TR: 两面观点完整回答问题，分论点详实有深度，首尾段观点总结到位，9分

　　CC: 全篇结构清晰，整齐，行文连接通顺，易于理解，没有明显模板痕迹，9分

　　LR: 词汇非常多样，同义替换到位，搭配地道准确，9分

　　GA: 句型多变，复合句实用灵活，没有语法错误，9分

　　(13 sentences, 306 words, band 9)

　　经典的4段13句模板，大家可以模仿哦，注意，这里所谓的模板，是指他所熟悉和擅长的一种行文结构，而并非具体的模板句型。祝早日与雅思分手。

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