美国留学MBA文书点评
美国MBA文书带有很大的主观成分和发挥空间。在客观学术和语言成绩相似的情况下,文书的成败与否,成为申请者被录取与否的关键。如何巧避文书雷区,让你的文书在众多文书中脱颖而出呢?我们来看一个美国MBA文书范例及名师点评,希望对大家有所帮助。
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[Prompt: We all experience defining moments, significant events that can have a major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an event and how it affected you.]
The president of our company announced the final vote: five to three in favor of ending the business. Instantly, the tumultuous adventure of Versaworks abruptly ended. This web-based company we had founded aimed to promote an online reservation system for restaurants. Planning to run the company part-time while we sought initial business contracts to generate some base revenue, we had hoped to attract enough investors to provide funding for the team to work full-time. In the end, however, our inability to solidify relationships with restaurants led to the vote on closing the business, and the votes outcome was what everyone had expected.
However, closing this chapter in my life allowed me to open a new one, as it caused me to re-evaluate my career goals. I asked myself, why was I so motivated to start a business in the first place Why did I find its possibilities more rewarding than my successful engineering career I came to realize that while engineering allowed me to apply my technical skills to developing advanced technology, I believed I had the opportunity and privilege to enhance peoples lives more effectively by guiding a collaborative effort, a whole company directed towards providing for the needs of its customers.
In a word, today I understand that my long-term career goal is to maximize my contribution to society. Through my Versaworks experience, I gained a new perspective on what it takes to start a business. The closing of that project compelled me to refocus on my goals and evaluate what I need in order to achieve them. Today, I know that the pursuit of an MBA education is the next step I must take.
作者通过对自己曾经的失败创业经历的描述,并且通过这次失败的经历,使得自己明确了目标,重新为自己的未来的目标确立了更新更细更有规划性的理念。作者在创业失败之后,扪心自问,思考自己究竟为什么要进行这样的工作,使得自己对于创业理念有了更深入的理解。整个事件都紧扣题目,深刻地向读者展现了失败瞬间的'决定对于自己未来的影响。
整篇文章意图向读者体现的是作者具有很强的决策性能力,分析能力以及学习能力。为什么要进行MBA的学习,希望通过MBA学习之后培养什么样的能力都说得合情合理,将阅读者想要通过文章了解到作者申请MBA学位所应该具有的能力这种想法把握的非常清楚。可以说是非常成功的文章。很多的ESSAY写作的时候都是没有能够把握住命题者的意图而产生下笔千言离题万里的情况,所体现的往往是很片面的东西,比如有的作者往往是说一些空洞的话,说自己具有什么样的能力,而并没有通过具体的事例体现出来,或者仅仅是对事件进行了详细的描述而没有说明自己通过事情得到了什么。这些通常是ESSAY写作失败的通病。而作者却规避了这些问题,用事件结合收获再推出想法的写作方式,完成了整篇文章。
可以说学校希望通过ESSAY了解到的就是一个具有长远规划的学生,有没有学习能力以及创新能力,而作者正是通过文章展示了一个拥有理智思维以及对事情的学习吸收能力的学生,完全符合学校的要求。同时文章的结构也是亮点,从第一段对事件的描述,到第二段自己对于这件事情的思考所得到的东西,再到第三段的自己进行MBA学习的理由,简明扼要,直奔主题,看上去非常具有条理,值得借鉴。
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