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短篇英语笑话大全 笑破你的肚子
1、Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉."
2、Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
3、The first time a pig tastes bacon.
当猪第一次尝到培根。
Seriously! This is so good! Now I understand why they kill us ! It makes so much sense!
说真的这太好吃了!现在我理解为什么他们要宰我们了，这样才有意义。
4、Teacher: Would you rather have one half ofan orange or five tenths?
老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?
Gerald:I'd much rather have the half.
杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
Teacher:Think carefully, and tell me why.
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
Gerald:Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
5、Son:Is ink so very expensive, father?
儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗?
Father:Why, son, what makes you think so?
父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想?
Son:W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I
spilled some on the carpet.
儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
6、Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待："你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?"
男人："我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。"
酒吧招待："那你应该高兴才是啊!"
男人："不，今天是这个月的最后一天。"
7、 "What are you so happy about?"
a womanasked the 98-year-old man.
“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”
"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’tit wonderful?"
“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗?”
8、My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her
pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister
encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
9、One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天，夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?"
亚当无可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?"
10、The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
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