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最新英语笑话幽默网文
Psychiatrist
Jerry went to a psychiatrist.
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed,
I think there's somebody under it.
I'm going crazy!"
Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"
said the shrink.
"Come to me three times a week,
and I'll cure your fears.
" How much do you charge?"
A hundred dollars per visit.
" I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?"
asked the psychiatrist.
For a hundred bucks a visit?
The bartender cured me for $10."
"Is that so!
How?
" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”
“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”
“费用是多少呢?”
“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。
六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。
“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”
“真的?他怎么做到的?”
An Entrance Examination
入学考试
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music，the teacher asked one of the boys，"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf，”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了，先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
Visiting A Chicken Farm
参观养鸡场
One day，a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator，a chick just got out of it’s eggshell.
老师带学生到养鸡场参观，当他们走近孵化器时，刚好一只小鸡破壳而出。
"It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell，isn't it's it?”the teacher said.
“看见一个小生命从蛋壳里出来，很奇妙，是不是?”老师说。
"Yes，sir，"said one of the boys，“But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”
“是的，老师，”一个男学生说，“可是，如果我们知道它是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的那就更奇妙了。”
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