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英语课堂上的笑话
笑话还可以指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感。笑话具有篇幅短小、故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性等特点，以下是小编整理的英语课堂上的笑话，仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家。
英语课堂上的笑话 1
1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS: Big hands!
4. TEACHER: Didn’t you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to keep yours.
5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.
SAMMY: You can’t fool me, Teacher... snakes don’t have feet.
英语课堂上的笑话 2
One
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?
小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!
Two
某日，小明学习了how to spell it?这一句型。回家后,妈妈看见他手上的.玩具表，问道：
妈妈：What’s on your hand?
小明：Watch.
妈妈：How to spell that?
小明：T-H-A-T~
Three
某日，老师教小涛，英语中，姓氏可以放在名字后面。小明放学后碰到一个外国人，于是他勇敢地上去与外国人对话。
小明：How are you? My name is HongTao Liu.
外国人：Oh, my god! 我还是方片七呢!
Four
一日，小明心情有很好，于是他夸赞英语老师漂亮。
小明：Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.
老师听后心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
小明心想：老师的意思就是“Where? Where?"，天哪，还有这样的人，非要追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：
"Everywhere, everywhere."
老师：……
Five
小明刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry.
老外应道：I am sorry too.
小明听后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?
小明无奈，道：I am sorry five.
Six
一日，小明上课打磕睡，于是英语老师向小明提问。
老师：小明，How are you是什么意思?
小明心想：how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”
老师很生气，又问：“那How old are you ?是什么意思?”
小明心想：old是老的，于是回答怎么老是你?”
英语课堂上的笑话 3
An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I dont know whats the matter with me.Ive been limping for the last half hour.”
有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的.时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”
英语课堂上的笑话 4
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, Hello, Monsignor." The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, Hello, Your Excellency."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, Hello, Your Eminence.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, Oh, my God!"
四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的.儿子。“我的.儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”
第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”
第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’!”
英语课堂上的笑话 5
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
问题：为什么六怕七呢?
回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!
(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)
用“beans(豆子)”造句
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。
(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)
两块蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以，拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
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