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超短英语小笑话（通用11篇）
笑话是一个汉语词汇，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。以下是小编帮大家整理的超短英语小笑话，供大家参考借鉴。
超短英语小笑话 1
I have always tried to be open and honest with my children whenever they came to me with questions, but six-year-old Peter caught me off guard one evening when he bounced in at dinner time and asked, "Mom, when you get married, does that make you pregnant?" "No," I answered, "Getting married is not what makes you pregnant." "Well," he persisted, "how do you get pregnant then?" Not wishing to get into such a serious discourse just before dinner, I answered, "Peter, its a sort of a long story." Within an impish look on his little face, he cocked his head and replied, "You dont know, do you?"
超短英语小笑话 2
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howards clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening. Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things. One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Toms clothes very carefully. Then he said angrily, "Isnt that one of my ties, Tom?" "Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom. "And that shirts mine too." "Yes, thats yours too," answered Tom. "And youre wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard. "Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You dont want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
超短英语小笑话 3
4-4=? One day, the teacher inquired Peter: "How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. the teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?" "The hole," replied Peter.
超短英语小笑话 4
尽管读
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的办公室，大家常常订些外卖食品来吃。一天夜里，我们都找沙伦订了食品。她把订单列在一张不干胶的纸条上。等她到了饭店时，怎么也找不到那张订单了。沙伦走到柜台前，还没等她说话，收银员就背出了所有大家订的`东西。沙伦问:“你怎么会知道这些的呢?”
"Tts right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在这儿，”收银页说:“贴在了你的胸前。”
超短英语小笑话 5
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr.Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.They drank for half an hour，and then Mr.Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson.You must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when youve had enough？ Well， Ill tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，youve had enough and should go home.”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”
在英国，十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。
汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒，但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去，因为他年纪太小。后来，当汤姆年满十八岁的时候，汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时，而后，汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆，现在我要告诉你一个有益的`教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢？好，我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗？当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，应该回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。”
超短英语小笑话 6
Put your feet in把脚放进去
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”
超短英语小笑话 7
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.
When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的`商店里买一盒好用的火柴。
汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
超短英语小笑话 8
A Present 凯特的'礼物
Kate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it.
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
超短英语小笑话 9
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
超短英语小笑话 10
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一个商场租用了相互毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying，"Gigantic Sale!”and "Super Bargains!”
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming，“Prices Slashed”and“Fantastic Discounts!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的'招牌，声称:“大砍价!”“狂打折!”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated，“ENTRANCE".
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
超短英语小笑话 11
While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.
The mans wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."
有个人生病了。他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。医生对她说：“你的`丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。”
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