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每日爆笑英语笑话
1、An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
一位美国律师刚结束他在意大利一所法律学校的客座演讲,就有一位意大利律师走近他问:“听说在你们国家里,一个人跌倒在人行道上,他就会起诉这块地的所有者赔偿很多钱,这是真的吗?”
得知这是真的后,意大利律师转向他的同行开始用意大利语快速谈论起来。当他们停下来后,美国律师问他们是否想去美国做法律工作。
“不,不,”有一个人回答说,“我们要去美国跌倒在人行道上。”
2、Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing1 me, the children are acting2 up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed3. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人给她女儿拨了个电话,然后高兴地说:”哎,亲爱的,你好吗?“
“太糟了, 妈妈。我的腰疼得很厉害。孩子们一直在闹,房子里乱七八糟的,我还要为六为客人准备晚餐。”
“亲爱的,别着急,我马上就来。我会把孩子们喂饱,清理好房子,然后给客人们做一顿难以忘怀的晚餐。“
“你真是个救命的菩萨,爸爸怎么样?“
“你爸爸?亲爱的,你这是怎么啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”
沉默了一会,“您是不是拨错了电话?请别挂上,”那个声音变的有气无力了,“是不是这就意味着您不会来啦?”
3、There was a man who raised a pig. He felt tired of it and gave it up. However, the pig knew the way to go home. The man did not succeed in doing so several times.
One day, the man drove an vehicle, turning many times on the way, then gave it up. Late at night, he telephoned to his family and asked: "Had the pig returned home?"
A member of his family answered: "It had." The man roared1: "Let it answer the telephone. I am lost!"
某人养一猪,烦,弃之,然猪知归路,数弃无功。
一日,其驾车转了很多弯寻猪,深夜致电家人,问:“猪归否?”
答曰:“已归!” 其怒吼:“让它接电话,老子迷路了!
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