初中的英语笑话大全
1、
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.
农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生,“你为何要选择这个职业?”他问。 “我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元,就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。 “你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元?”主任惊诧地问道。
“没有,”这位申请人回答道,“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。”
2.
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题. 司机大叫起来, 车也失去了控制, 几乎撞上一辆公车, 还上了便道, 在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来.
司机说,“伙计,别再这么干了. 你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说, “我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样.” 司机说,“对不起,也不全是你的错. 今天是我第一天开出租. 以前25年里我一直开殡葬车.”
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.
Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了,富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩,但“从不过热----见好就收”。一天他突发奇想,决定四处走走,去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。
他回来即叹道:“嘘!谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了!”
3.
A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."
"Where is the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one-use your hat."
一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道:“他们都取笑我,说我脑袋大。” “别听他们的,”他母亲安慰道,“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦,别哭了,去商店买十斤土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪儿?”
“没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”
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