长篇的英语笑话带翻译话

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长篇的英语笑话带翻译话（精选10个）

　　英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是小编精心整理的长篇的英语笑话带翻译话，希望能够帮助到大家。

长篇的英语笑话带翻译话（精选10个）

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 1

　　Who is Stupid

　　A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!"

　　Little Johnny then stood up.

　　The teacher said, "Do you think youre stupid, Johnny?"

　　"No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　谁愚蠢

　　一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

　　小约翰尼站了起来。

　　“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?”老师问。

　　“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 2

　　Good intentions

　　One day a boy came to his teacher and said:"Teacher，my dad wants to know if you like roast pig.”

　　"I certainly do，”said the teacher, "And you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.”

　　Days passed，and nothing more was said about the roast pig.

　　Finally the teacher said to the boy，“I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.”

　　"Yes，"said the boy，“He did intend to，but the pig got well.”

　　良好的'心愿

　　一天有个男孩去对他老师说:“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”

　　“当然口，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。”

　　好几天过去了，男孩再没提起烤猪肉的事儿。

　　最后老师对男孩说:“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”

　　“是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪病好了。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 3

　　How Did You Ever Get Here

　　One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."

　　The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

　　"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."

　　你是怎样来的?

　　一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”

　　老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的.?”

　　“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 4

　　A Vacation Cruise

　　One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into the river. Soon another guy comes in, pays his fee and gets the same treatment.

　　Fifteen minutes later, as the two are floating down the river together, the first man says, "I wonder if theyre serving any food on this cruise."

　　"I don t know, the second guy replied. "They didnt last year."

　　假日巡航游

　　一愚笨之人读到一则假日巡航游只须花100元的广告。在他签了字付了款后，旅游经纪人用棒猛击了他一下，把他打昏了过去，并把他从后门扔进了河里。不久又来了一个人，付了钱并得到了相同的待遇。

　　十五分钟后，这两个人一起向河的下游漂去。第一个人说：“不知道他们这次巡航游是否提供食物。”

　　“不知道，”第二个人说道，“去年是没有的.。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 5

　　Clever Bobby

　　Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

　　"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. Hes going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

　　He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.

　　"Whats that, Bobby?"

　　"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

　　聪明的博比

　　布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

　　布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

　　他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。

　　“博比，这是什么?”

　　“马马，”博比回答。他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的.画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸!”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 6

　　Speeding

　　Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Dont you ever look at the speedometer?"

　　the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."

　　超速

　　因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。有一次我就因为超速度行驶被一个公路巡警拦了下来。“你有没有看过你的时速表？”那名警官责问。

　　当我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已经太晚了。“车开得越来越快”，我如实地说，“我的眼睛得一直盯着前面，没敢看别的'”。

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 7

　　Computer problem

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve.

　　She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked.

　　I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas.

　　After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　电脑问题

　　我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接到一位客户的电话，她的问题我没办法解决。

　　她的`问题是：打印机不能打出来黄色，但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。咨询同事们，他们也不知道该怎么办。

　　两个多小时的交涉，我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们，这时候她平静地说了一句：“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 8

　　Meals for stingy people

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　吝啬鬼的餐会

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的.肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 9

　　They were brought directly from the United States

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　它们是从美国直接带来的

　　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的'美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

　　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

　　长篇的英语笑话带翻译话 10

　　The Two Words

　　What Are The Two Words？A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．

　　“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．

　　One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’．Would you promise me that？ “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl．“What are the two words？”

　　两个词

　　一个非常高贵的`老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。

　　“我亲爱的，”老夫人说：“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。

　　一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗？” “噢，当然，奶奶。”女孩说：“是哪两个词？”

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