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笑得肚子疼得英语笑话
在日常生活或是工作学习中，大家一定都或多或少地听过笑话，下面是小编为大家收集的有关笑得肚子疼得英语笑话相关内容，仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家。
笑得肚子疼得英语笑话 1
1、Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢?
汤姆：每个月都有啊!
2、Boy: Hi, didnt we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Mustve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。
女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。
3、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Dont you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩："音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?"
"耳聋，"男孩答道。
"胡说!"老师气愤地说。
"怎么了，先生!难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的.音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗?"男孩轻蔑地反问道。
4、If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。
5、Please dont feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。
6、Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。
7、Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。
8、Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。
9、Drop your trousers here for best results。
泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。
10、Specialist in women and other diseases。
意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。
11、Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。
12、We take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
13、The manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。
笑得肚子疼得英语笑话 2
情人来电
a man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"what was that for?", the man asked.
一个男人坐在那儿看报纸,他的老婆用煎锅打他的头。
"那是为什么?",那人问道。
the wife replied, "that was for the piece of paper with the name jenny on it that i found in your pants pocket".
the man said, "when i was at the races last week, jenny was the name of the horse i bet on."
the wife apologized and went on with the housework.
妻子回答说,"这张纸上写的名字珍妮,我在你的裤子口袋里发现的"。
那人说:"我上周看比赛,珍妮是我下注的那匹马的名字。"
妻子道歉,继续做家务。
three days later the man is watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
she replied "your horse just phoned you".
三天后，他正在看电视,他老婆用比上次大得多的`煎锅打他的头,他顿时失去知觉。
等男人恢复了意识，问他老婆为什么打他了。
她回答说:"你的马打电话给你"。
笑得肚子疼得英语笑话 3
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的'。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I see the bird, ma am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, maam, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
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