爆笑英语笑话对话

时间：2022-10-28 18:08:46 英语笑话我要投稿

爆笑英语笑话对话

　　笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。以下是小编为大家整理的有关爆笑英语笑话对话，希望对您有所帮助。

爆笑英语笑话对话

　　爆笑英语笑话对话1

　　理发师

　　Harry: "My big brother shaves every day."

　　哈里：“我哥哥每天都刮脸。”

　　Henry: "My brother shaves fifty times a day."

　　亨利：“我哥哥每天刮50次脸。”

　　Harry: "Is he crazy?"

　　哈里：“他疯了吗?”

　　Henry: "No, he's a barber."

　　亨利：“没有，他是一名理发师。”

　　年少无知

　　Jimmy is three years old.

　　吉米3岁了。

　　One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"

　　一天，他正在窗口观望，夜幕降临。他突然喊道：“妈妈，妈妈，快来关窗!”

　　"Why? It's not cold, sonny."

　　“为什么?天不冷呀，宝贝。”

　　"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."

　　“是的，妈妈，可黑夜会进来。”

　　快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”

　　冰箱里的小兔子

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse，西屋电气公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士确认道：“没错。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

　　Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

　　兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病?

　　Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.

　　医生：当然咯，凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。

　　Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?

　　兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢?

　　Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.

　　兔妈妈：等你长大点再告诉你。

　　Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.

　　兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就告诉我吧，求您了。

　　Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.

　　兔妈妈：如果你一定要知道，那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。

　　我们分享一切

　　An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.

　　一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。

　　A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

　　一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。

　　"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

　　“没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”

　　A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.

　　几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。

　　"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

　　他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”

　　"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."

　　“她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”

　　Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

　　司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点?”

　　The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

　　老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”

　　I Am Going to Shop 我要去购物啦

　　“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

　　我帮来购物的女士包好东西后，问道：“是付现金、支票还是记账呢?” 当她找钱包的时候，我注意到她的包包里竟放着一个电视遥控器。

　　“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

　　我问：“你一直都随身带电视遥控器的吗?”

　　“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”

　　她回答说：“不是啦。但我老公不乐意跟我一起来购物，所以我决定拿走他的遥控器来惩罚他。”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话2

　　Clever Bobby

　　聪明的博比

　　Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

　　布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

　　"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

　　布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

　　He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe(长颈鹿).

　　他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。

　　"What's that, Bobby?"

　　“博比，这是什么?”

　　"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

　　“马马，”博比回答。他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸!”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话3

　　A school report

　　学校成绩单

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,

　　父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

　　“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话4

　　A Smart Parrot

　　聪明的鹦鹉

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的`老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。”

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。

　　爆笑英语笑话对话5

　　Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of theVirgin and the baby Jesus.

　　姐妹俩在看一本宗教画册时，刚好看到一幅圣母玛利亚和圣婴耶稣的图画。

　　"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."

　　姐姐说：“瞧，这是耶稣，这是他的妈妈。”

　　"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.

　　“他的爸爸在哪里?”妹妹想知道。

　　Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."

　　姐姐想了一会儿，解释道：“噢，他正在拍照。”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话6

　　Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.

　　两个男孩在谈论太阳和月亮。“它们中哪个更有用?”其中一个问道。

　　"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."

　　“当然是月亮。月亮在天黑时挂在天空，但太阳是在白天谁也不需要它时挂在天空。”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话7

　　A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

　　一位女士圣诞节购物时丢了钱包。一个诚实的小男孩捡到了钱包，还给了她。

　　Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...that's funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　她看了看钱包，说：“嗯……真有趣。我丢钱包时，里面有一张20元的钞票。现在却有20张一元的钞票。”

　　The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

　　那个男孩马上回答说：“没错，太太。上次我捡到一位女士的钱包，她没有零钱酬谢。”

　　爆笑英语笑话对话8

　　"I'm going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.

　　一个4岁的女孩对老师说：“我要画一幅上帝的画像。”

　　"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.

　　老师说：“可谁也不知道上帝长什么模样。”

　　"They will know when I've finished," came the reply.

　　“等我画好后，他们就会知道的。“小女孩回答说。

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