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10个英文小笑话
用过英文跟人家讲笑话吗?如果每用过的话，下面YJBYS小编就给您献上几段英文小笑话，让你可以在朋友间用英文发挥出你的幽默。
1. A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!" "Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back. "You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest." 一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。 “快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。” “噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。 “请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
2. 周一早上....正在冲泡着浓郁的咖啡，一个有趣的对话发生了... "Daddy?How did I come into this world?" 「爹地，我是怎么来到这世界的?」 "Well,my child,someday I"ll have to tell you anyway." 「哦，儿子啊，总有一天我会让你知道的。」 "So why not today?Please!" 「拜托!为什么今天不行?」 "OK,but listen carefully." 「好吧，你仔细听着!」 "Mom and Dad met each other in a cybercafe. 「你妈和我在网吧相遇而认识， In the restroom sof that cybercafe,dad connected to mom. 并在网吧的洗手间你妈和我使用了超级链接， Mom at that time made some downloads from dad"s memorystick. 那时你妈从我的随身插硬盘下载一些数据， When dad finished up loading wed is covered we used no firewall. 当我完成上传时，我们发现我们没有使用防火墙， Since it was too late to cancel or delete, 因此，想要取消或删除都已为时太晚， nine months later we ended up with a virus." 就这样，九个月以后我们最终生出一个病毒。」
3. Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? 汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他? Jack: Certainly. 杰克：当然应该了。
Tom: And why? 汤姆：为什么? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
4. An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?' 'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.' 'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.' 一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱?” “七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。” 店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。” “还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
5. Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon? Mr.Smith: Yes. Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it? 约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗? 史密斯先生：是的。 约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗?
6. They Are Directly from America Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ” 一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”
7. He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿? 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
8. Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
9. A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。”
10. Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，„醉‟字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
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