最好笑的英语笑话

时间：2024-06-14 07:15:53 英语笑话我要投稿

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最好笑的英语笑话大全

　　冰箱里的小兔子最终会有什么样的结果呢?想知道就赶紧往下边看哦。

最好笑的英语笑话大全

　　How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂

　　"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

　　"No!" the children all answered.

　　"If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

　　Again, the answer was, "No!"

　　"Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"

　　A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

　　“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

　　孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”

　　“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”

　　回答还是：“不能!”“好吧， ”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”

　　一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

　　"But you're not wearing any of those things."

　　"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

　　福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”

　　“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。”

　　是哪两个词?

　　What Are The Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that? “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl.“What are the two words?”

　　一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。“我亲爱的，”老夫人说：“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗?” “噢，当然，奶奶。”女孩说：“是哪两个词?”

　　冰箱里的小兔子

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse，西屋电气公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士确认道：“没错。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

　　Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

　　兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病?