最搞幽默英语笑话

时间：2020-11-15 08:59:44 英语笑话我要投稿

最搞幽默英语笑话

　　每天一个英语笑话，我们精神更抖擞。下面由YJBYS小编为您整理的英语笑话。

最搞幽默英语笑话

　　The Use of a Handsaw

　　At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.

　　Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.

　　Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.

　　The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.

　　在集市上，我和妻子买了一些五金用品，包括一个手锯。我们返回汽车时刚好路过一家牛排店。 “我们尝尝吧，”我妻子建议说。尽管我觉得拿着锯有点傻乎乎的，但还是随她走了进去。我妻子扫视了一下菜单对女招待说：“请给我来一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待转向我，看了看我的锯，说道：“我能看出，先生，你是来吃我们的T形骨特色菜的。”

　　你爸爸帮你了吗?

　　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.

　　The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.

　　He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"

　　"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."

　　一天，蒂姆的`数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。

　　老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。

　　他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"

　　"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"

　　怎么把口香糖取出来呢

　　How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

　　怎么把口香糖取出来呢当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

　　A Blind Beggar

　　There was a blind beggar wearing sunglasses and asking for money. A drunk man walked by, thinking the beggar was pitiful, threw him a hundred dollars.After walking a few steps, the drunkard turned around to see the blind man holding the money up to the sunlight to check if it was genuine. The drunk man, feeling cheated, ran back and snatched the money back, “You’re gonna die! How dare you cheat me…”The blind man, not wanting to feel like a cheater, retorted, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m just here to replace my friend who really is blind. He went to the bathroom, and should be right back… Actually… I’m mute.”“Oh, oh, in that case...” whereupon the drunk threw the money back and stumbled away.

　　在路边一个盲人乞丐戴着墨镜在街上行乞。一个醉汉走过来，觉得他可怜，就扔了一百元给他。走了一段路，醉汉一回头，恰好看见那个盲人正对着太阳分辨那张百元大抄的真假。醉汉过来一把夺回钱道：“你不想活了，竟敢骗老子!” 盲人乞丐一脸委屈说：“大哥，真对不起啊，我是替一个朋友在这看一下，他是个瞎子，去上厕所了，其实我是个哑巴。”“哦，是这样子啊!”于是醉汉扔下钱，又摇摇晃晃地走了……

　　老师哭了

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱，宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

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