英语笑话带翻译

时间：2020-11-18 14:29:09 英语笑话我要投稿

英语笑话带翻译

英语笑话之蝙蝠的问题

英语笑话带翻译

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away."

Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.""

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!"

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

英语笑话之我们的幽默

Americans have a strong sense of humor.

Because everyone has ancestors, family and friends of every possible race, color, creed and national origin, and because sensitivity to such differences has reached unprecedented tenderness in recent years, it is considered rude to tell a joke that perpetuates an ethnic, social, religious, sexual, or racial stereotype. Nevertheless that still leaves plenty of material for humor, such as occupation, political persuasion, or region of origin. For example:

A Texan was boasting to an Arkansan about his ranch. "Why, my ranch is so big," he said, "that if I start out in my truck in the morning to drive around it, it’s night by the time I get home." The Arkansan nodded understandingly and said, "Yep. I had a truck like that once."

The only group detested enough to be a suitable butt for barbed humor is lawyers. Lawyers are unpopular because they’re only consulted in times of distress. Any lawyer joke is sure to draw a laugh.

"Did you hear that medical laboratories have started using lawyers instead of white rats? There are more of them and there are some things even a laboratory rat just won’t do."

Politicians are also fair game, but since approximately two-thirds of the nation’s congressional representatives are law school graduates, such jokes are really just a subset of the ’lawyer’ canon.

美国人是很幽默的。

由于各人的祖先，家庭和朋友都有各自不同的种族，肤色，宗教信仰和民族渊源，又由于人们对这种不同之处的敏感在近几年来已经达到空前微妙的地步，因此，讲带有民族，社会，宗教，性或种族类别的笑话就被认为是很不礼貌的事。尽管如此，能构成幽默的素材仍然不少，如职业，政治信仰或出身地等。例如：

有一个得克萨斯人对一个阿肯色人吹嘘自己的牧场。“嗨，我的牧场可大了，”他说，“要是我早上开着卡车出门饶它走一圈，回到家时就是夜晚了。”那阿肯色人点了点头，满理解的样子，说，“是啊，我有过一辆卡车也是那么大。”

唯一的一帮不讨人喜欢而适宜当讽刺幽默靶子的人是律师。律师之所以不得人心是因为人们只是在烦恼的时候才去找他们。任何有关律师的笑话肯定是引人发笑的。

你听说了吗?医学实验室已经不用白鼠而开始用律师了。律师比白鼠多。而有些事就是实验室的老鼠也做不了的。

政治人物也是被讽刺的对象，不过既然约三分之二的国会议员都是法学院的毕业生，这些笑话也就是“律师全集”中的.“分册”而已了。

英语笑话之好消息和坏消息

　　Good News And Bad News

　　"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?" "Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement." "And the bad news?" "After the divorce, she's marrying your father."

　　“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。 “我总能听到一些好消息吧，”当事人叹了口气说，“是什么好消息?” “你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。” “那么坏消息呢?” “离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”

英语笑话之新老师

　　The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..."

　　9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。 “乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问。 “妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”

英语笑话之钱包丢了

　　Lost Purse

　　A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

　　中文：一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。” “没错，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。”

英语笑话之汤姆的借口

　　TOM'S EXCUSE

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

　　老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校---慢行。"

英语笑话之你爸爸帮你了吗?

　　DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?

　　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?" "No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.

　　一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?" "不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

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