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好笑的英语笑话故事集锦
笑一笑,十年少,小编为大家整理了好笑的英语笑话故事集锦,希望大家能展颜一笑,记得每天都要开心一刻哦!嘻嘻!
好笑的英语笑话故事【1】
Photo of my wife 我老婆的照片
A businessman enters a tavern(酒馆,客栈), sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender(酒保) to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peekingat a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料马提尼。喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。喝完,生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。这时酒馆的`服务生说话了,“呃,老兄,我整个晚上给你倒马提尼都没有问题,但你得告诉我,你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答,“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来,那就说明我喝得差不多了,该回家了。”
好笑的英语笑话故事【2】
Are you a normal person?
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion(标准) that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon(茶匙), a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup." "Noooooooo!" answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
参观一所精神病院的'时候一个参观者问院长,“你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该被关进精神病院呢?” “呃… …”院长说,“是这样,我们先给一个浴缸放满水,然后我们给病人一个调茶匙,一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。” “噢,我明白了”, 参观者说。“一个正常人会选择水桶, 因为水桶比茶匙,茶杯的体积大。” “错了”,院长回答“正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉”。
好笑的英语笑话故事【3】
颗番茄
Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato walked fast. The second one asked, "Where are we going?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly,said: "We are not tomatoes? We can talk?"
两颗番茄去逛街,第一颗番茄突然走得很快,第二颗番茄就问:“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答,第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄还没回答,所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说:“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”
好笑的英语笑话故事【4】
Endearing terms
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
伯尼应邀来到他的朋友莫里斯家吃晚餐。在朋友家,伯尼发现,不管问他老婆什么问题,莫里斯总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼,象蜜糖,我的爱人,亲爱的,甜心等等。伯尼对莫里斯说,“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的`,结婚这么多年了,你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”莫里斯低下头,小声地对伯尼说,“老实跟你说吧,三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
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