最幽默的英语笑话

时间：2020-10-23 11:01:51 英语笑话我要投稿

最幽默的英语笑话

　　一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，小编给大家收集整理了最幽默的英语笑话，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

最幽默的英语笑话

　　最幽默的英语笑话篇一：Who is he waiting for 他在等谁

　　Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife." 两个朋友在纽约市汽车中心总站的一家咖啡厅里吃午饭。他们注意到一个男人独自坐在邻桌。当服务员小姐走向他时，无意中听到她问那个男人：“你是在等一位个子很高，很瘦，留长发，皮肤很白的金发女人吗?” 那人回答说：“在我生活的长远规划中，我是在等。但是今天，我却是在等我的妻子。”

　　最幽默的英语笑话篇二：

　　Grandpa: It’s time for dinner Bao Bao. Wash up!

　　Grandson (Bao Bao, 12 years old): Aw Grandpa, I don’t want rice again. Can you take me to KFC tonight? Please?

　　Grandpa: I suppose so, but you’ll have to show me where it is. We’ll take the bus.

　　At the counter of KFC…

　　Grandpa: Why are children so crazy about chicken wings and hamburgers? What’s so good about them?

　　Grandson: Hmm…hmm. Hey, I’ll take 2 chicken wings and a Coke, OK?

　　At the table…

　　Grandpa: Bao Bao, do you like being Chinese or do you sometimes wish you could live in America or Europe?

　　Grandson: Uh, maybe America, I think the foods there are cool. Why?

　　Grandpa: Well, when I was your age, I liked to go out with my parents and eat in a Chinese restaurant. We didn’t have chicken wings or the drink with bubbles. We drank tea and we had rice and traditional Chinese dishes.

　　Grandson: Grandpa, I want some French fries. Can I have some?

　　Grandpa: Phew…all right! Children are children after all. Bao Bao, do you know what children ate in the past? They ate spring rolls when spring was coming, glutinous rice balls during the Lantern Festival and if they behaved well, their parents would probably buy them small steamed bread made with corn flour…I can still remember the taste, that sweet…

　　Grandson: I want more chicken wings, can I, Grandpa?

　　Grandpa: You’ve already eaten too much of that, Bao Bao! A lot of your friends are getting fat too…you know, in the good old days, we…

　　Grandson: Grandpa, pass the ketchup,‘kay?

　　爷爷和孙子之间的爆笑对话

　　亲历快餐

　　爷爷：宝宝，该吃晚饭了，去洗洗手吧。

　　孙子(宝宝，12岁)：噢，爷爷，我不想吃米饭!您能带我去吃肯德基吗?求您啦!

　　爷爷：好吧，只是你得告诉我它在哪儿。我们坐公交车去吧。

　　在肯德基的柜台前……

　　爷爷：为什么孩子们如此热衷于鸡翅和汉堡呢?有什么好吃的`!

　　孙子：嗯……我要两个鸡翅和一杯可乐，可以吗?

　　在餐桌旁……

　　爷爷：宝宝，你是喜欢当个中国人，还是有时候会想当个美国人或是欧洲人?

　　孙子：嗯，也许想当个美国人吧，那里的食物都很酷。为什么要问这个?

　　爷爷：喔，在我像你这么大时，我喜欢跟我的父母一起去中国餐馆吃饭。我们那时没有鸡翅，也没有这种会冒泡的饮料。我们喝茶，吃米饭和传统的中国菜。

　　孙子：爷爷，我想吃薯条，行不行啊?

　　爷爷：哟，好吧!毕竟是孩子!宝宝，你知道过去的孩子吃什么吗?春天来了，他们会吃春卷;元宵节时，他们会吃元宵。如果表现得好，父母还会给他们买玉米面做的小窝头……我至今还记得那滋味儿，甜甜的……

　　孙子：我想再要点鸡翅，可以吗，爷爷?

　　爷爷：宝宝，你已经吃了不少啦。你的很多朋友都变胖了。你知道吗?在过去那些好日子里，我们……

　　孙子：爷爷，把番茄酱递给我一下!

　　最幽默的英语笑话篇三：Put your feet in 把脚放进去

　　The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

　　一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”

　　最幽默的英语笑话篇四：Lucky Mother

　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"

　　幸运的母亲

　　一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，“露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。” 露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：“您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?”

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