简短爆笑英语笑话

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简短爆笑英语笑话（精选11篇）

　　要是有一则笑话解决不了的事，那就两则笑话，看笑话，能让我们变得开心，以下是小编精心整理的简短爆笑英语笑话（精选11篇），欢迎大家分享。

简短爆笑英语笑话（精选11篇）

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 1

　　Jimmy is three years old.

　　吉米3岁了。

　　One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"

　　一天，他正在窗口观望，夜幕降临。他突然喊道：“妈妈，妈妈，快来关窗!”

　　"Why? Its not cold, sonny."

　　“为什么?天不冷呀，宝贝。”

　　"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."

　　“是的，妈妈，可黑夜会进来。”

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 2

　　A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?

　　B:Hu胡(谐音:谁)

　　A:you~你

　　B:Hu~胡

　　A:Who?谁?

　　B:yes, I am~是，我就是

　　A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字

　　B:Hu胡啊

　　A:You!你!

　　B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊

　　A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊

　　B:Hu!胡!

　　A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!

　　B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡

　　A:O~哦

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 3

　　-How much does a polar bear weigh?

　　-How much?

　　-Enough to break the ice! Hi, my name is John。

　　-你知道北极熊有多重吗?

　　-多重呢?

　　-足够破冰(双关：打破沉默)!你好，我叫约翰~!

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 4

　　Harry: "My big brother shaves every day."

　　哈里：“我哥哥每天都刮脸。”

　　Henry: "My brother shaves fifty times a day."

　　亨利：“我哥哥每天刮50次脸。”

　　Harry: "Is he crazy?"

　　哈里：“他疯了吗?”

　　Henry: "No, hes a barber."

　　亨利：“没有，他是一名理发师。”

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 5

　　“i am sorry”。

　　“i am sorry， too” 外国人回答。

　　“i am sorry three” 我道。

　　“what are you sorry for?” 外国人问。

　　“i am sorry five” 我说……

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 6

　　Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?

　　Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.

　　Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?

　　丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔?

　　我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。

　　莎拉毫不气馁，又问：那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢?

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 7

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的.阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

　　另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

　　第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 8

　　拍卖!

　　When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.

　　我们决定卖掉我们的房子。于是，我们就在院前的'大树上钉了两块牌子，上面写着:“拍卖。”没过多久，我们的门铃就响了。一位年轻人问:“你们的树想卖多少钱?”

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 9

　　"Im going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.

　　一个4岁的.女孩对老师说：“我要画一幅上帝的画像。”

　　"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.

　　老师说：“可谁也不知道上帝长什么模样。”

　　"They will know when Ive finished," came the reply.

　　“等我画好后，他们就会知道的。“小女孩回答说。

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 10

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I dont mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure theyre running!"

　　在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候，我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课，他给学生解释在他课上的.纪律，他说：“我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而，我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上，以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。”

　　简短爆笑英语笑话 11

　　尴尬

　　My parents tour leader asked everyone to put their large suitcases outside their hotel rooms at bed time so the bus could be loaded for an early departure the next morning. Mom laid out their travelling clothes，repacked their things，took out her hearing aid and went to bed. Dad stepped into the hall to line up their luggage and the door clicked shut behind him，leaving him there in only his underwear.

　　我父母的导游负责人让大家在晚上睡觉前把箱子放在饭店的房门外。这样，化们可以在次日的凌晨早装车，早出发。妈妈铺开了旅行时穿的衣服，重新打了包。取下了助听器睡觉去了。爸爸要去大厅放行李，门咔嚓一下在他身后撞上了。他只穿着内裤，束手无策。

　　"It sure was embarrassing，“he told us later.”Your mother couldnt hear me，so I had to go downstairs and across the street to the office to get another key.”

　　他事后告诉我们:“我的确很尴尬。你妈妈她又听不见，没办法，我只好下楼穿过街到办公室去要另一把钥匙。”

　　"But, Grandpa.”our son piped up.”What about the clothes in the suitcase you put in the hall?"

　　“但是，爷爷，”我们的儿子说:“那么你为什么不穿放在大厅的'箱子里的衣服呢?”

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