幽默英语笑话带翻译

时间：2020-08-29 18:56:14 英语笑话我要投稿

幽默英语笑话大全带翻译

　　总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里小编收集整理了幽默英语笑话大全带翻译，让你的心情速速好起来。

幽默英语笑话大全带翻译

　　幽默英语笑话大全带翻译篇一：开业大吉

　　A new business was opening ... and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers forthe occasion.

　　新公司开业了，开业典礼上，经理的一个朋友送他一个花篮。

　　They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."

　　经理高声朗读着花篮上的贺卡：“安息吧。”

　　The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

　　经理生气极了，打电话找来卖花的人要质问他是怎么回事。

　　After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this:somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ..

　　花店老板来了，看到这个明显的`错误和经理气急败坏的样子，他说：“我真得很抱歉。但是与其这么生气，你倒不如这样想：有另外一个地方，今天要举办一个葬礼，他们将会收到一个花篮，

　　'Congratulations on your new location!'"

　　留言条上写着‘恭喜你有了新的归属!’”

　　幽默英语笑话大全带翻译篇二：墓地惊魂

　　One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcutthrough the cemetery.

　　一个漆黑的夜晚，两个小伙子参加完聚会，决定抄近路穿过一片坟地走回家。

　　When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.There was this terrifying noise, "TAP-TAP-TAP" coming from the shadows.

　　走到坟地的中间，从阴暗处传出来恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”声音，吓得他们再也走不动了。

　　Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.

　　浑身颤抖着，他们发现有个老人正拿着榔头和凿子凿一块墓碑。

　　"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath.

　　“噢，主啊，”其中一个屏住呼吸说，

　　"You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?"

　　“你吓死我们了，我们还以为你是鬼了。这么晚了你在这干什么呢?”

　　"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"

　　“这些傻瓜!”老人抱怨说，“他们拼错了我的名字!”

　　幽默英语笑话大全带翻译篇三：你纳税了吗?

　　A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.

　　一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。

　　At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.

　　审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，

　　As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"

　　而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”

　　"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."

　　“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”

　　幽默英语笑话大全带翻译篇四：谁都没空

　　I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.

　　那天晚上，我刚要上床睡觉，妻子告诉我说我没有关储藏室的灯，她从卧室的窗户看见那还亮着。

　　As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.

　　我也透过窗户朝那边看，发现有几个人正在偷东西。我赶忙报警，但是警察局说现在没有警察在我家的这片位置，他们一有了人手就马上派过来。

　　I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."

　　我说没问题，然后挂了电话，等了一分钟，又给他们打过去：“警察局吗，一分钟以前我打过电话来，我告诉你说有人正在我家的储藏室偷东西。但是现在没事了，因为我刚刚开枪把他们都打死了。”

　　Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

　　随后，五分钟之内有六辆警车来到了我家，警报也响了。当然，他们当场抓住了窃贼。有个警察对我说：“我记得你说你把他们都打死了。”我回答道：“我记得你说现在谁都没空。”

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