绝版英语笑话带翻译

时间：2022-04-02 14:16:22 英语笑话我要投稿

绝版英语笑话带翻译（精选12篇）

　　笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。下面就让小编给带领大家认识一些关于绝版英语笑话，还是附带翻译的，希望喜欢。

绝版英语笑话带翻译（精选12篇）

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇1

　　Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　昂贵的代价

　　牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇2

　　The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

　　"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

　　"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

　　"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

　　农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生，“你为何要选择这个职业?”他问。 “我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元，就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。 “你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元?”主任惊诧地问道。

　　“没有，”这位申请人回答道，“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇3

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

　　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

　　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇4

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

　　在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

　　一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

　　后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

　　琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

　　“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

　　“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

　　“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇5

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇6

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的.脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇7

　　"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

　　“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

　　Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

　　汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇8

　　A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.

　　一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。

　　A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.

　　如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。

　　B:It's in the judge's hand now.

　　这事掌握在法官的手上。

　　A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?

　　如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用?

　　B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.

　　哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。

　　With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,

　　最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。

　　A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.

　　谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很管用。

　　B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.

　　如果你送了的话，我肯定会输掉这场官司。

　　A:But did send them.

　　但是我的确送了。

　　B:What? You did?!

　　什么?你送了?!

　　A:Yes.That's how we won the case.

　　对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。

　　B:I don't understand.

　　我不明白。

　　A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.

　　这很简单，我把雪茄送到了法官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇9

　　On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course.

　　大学的第一天，文学课我坐在了前排。

　　The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.

　　教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书，他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。

　　Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."

　　随后他缓步走上讲台，拿出课本，“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”

　　I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."

　　为了写下所有的名字，我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我：“他在点名呢。”

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇10

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。

　　"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

　　她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？”

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

　　一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”

　　Tips: bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇11

　　情人来电

　　a man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

　　"what was that for?", the man asked.

　　一个男人坐在那儿看报纸,他的老婆用煎锅打他的头。

　　"那是为什么?",那人问道。

　　the wife replied, "that was for the piece of paper with the name jenny on it that i found in your pants pocket".

　　the man said, "when i was at the races last week, jenny was the name of the horse i bet on."

　　the wife apologized and went on with the housework.

　　妻子回答说,"这张纸上写的名字珍妮,我在你的裤子口袋里发现的"。

　　那人说:"我上周看比赛,珍妮是我下注的那匹马的名字。"

　　妻子道歉,继续做家务。

　　three days later the man is watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

　　upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.

　　she replied "your horse just phoned you".

　　三天后，他正在看电视,他老婆用比上次大得多的煎锅打他的头,他顿时失去知觉。

　　等男人恢复了意识，问他老婆为什么打他了。

　　她回答说:"你的马打电话给你"。

　　绝版英语笑话带翻译篇12

　　quick cleanup 快速清扫

　　unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

【绝版英语笑话带翻译（精选12篇）】相关文章：