笑翻天经典英语笑话

时间：2020-08-24 11:48:39 英语笑话我要投稿

笑翻天经典英语笑话

　　笑话是一种简单的艺术语言，它能让我们心情变得愉快，今天我们就一起来看看笑翻天经典英语笑话吧!

笑翻天经典英语笑话

　　笑翻天经典英语笑话(一)

　　兔子的论文

　　It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

　　这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。

　　Fox: "What are you working on?"

　　狐狸：“你在做什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "My thesis."

　　兔子：“写我的论文。”

　　Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

　　狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的?”

　　Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

　　兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”

　　Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

　　狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”

　　Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

　　兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。跟我来。”

　　They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

　　它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。

　　Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

　　很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。

　　Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

　　狼：“你在写什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

　　兔子：“我在写论文，关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

　　Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

　　狼：“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”

　　Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

　　兔子：“能发表，你想知道为什么吗?”

　　The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

　　兔子和狼一起进了洞穴，而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。

　　Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

　　兔子洞穴里：一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头，另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子，它边打着饱嗝，边剔着牙齿。

　　It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

　　论文的题目选什么无关紧要。

　　It doesn't matter what you use for data.

　　你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。

　　What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

　　真正重要的是：你的论文导师是谁!

　　笑翻天经典英语笑话(二)

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的`?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”

　　笑翻天经典英语笑话(三)

　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

　　一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?

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