英语搞笑短篇笑话
会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!小编给大家收集整理了英语搞笑短篇笑话，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!
英语搞笑短篇笑话篇一：
一个吝啬的家伙
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."
Notes:
(1) stingy adj.吝啬
(2) hate(doing)讨厌(做)
(3) free adj.免费的
(4) make a bargain with sb 达成协议;做成交易
(5) upsidedown 倒转地;倒置地
3、在空中
麦特和妻子住在乡下。麦特很吝啬，讨厌花钱。一天附近的镇子逢集。
“我们去赶集，麦特，”妻子说。“我们很久没出去了。”
麦特想了一会儿。他知道在集市上一定得花钱。最后他说：“好吧，但我不打算花太多钱。我们只看不买。”
他们去集市，看看所有可买的东西。有很多东西麦特的.妻子想买，但麦特不让她买。
然后在附近的露天场地，他们看到一架小飞机。
“有趣的飞行。”海报上写着，“10分钟10美元。”
麦特从来没有乘过飞机，所以他想乘一次小飞机。然而他不想付他妻子的票钱。
“我只带了10美元，”他对飞机驾驶员说，“我妻子能免费和我一起乘飞机吗?”驾驶员没卖出多少票，所以他说：“我和你做个交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出声来，她就能免费飞行。”
麦特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飞机。
飞机起飞了，驾驶员让飞机做出各种各样的动作。有一会儿飞机倒着飞行。
飞机着陆时，驾驶员说，“好吧，你妻子没发出任何声响。她就不用买飞机票了。”
“谢谢，”麦特说，“你知道，这对她不容易，特别当她刚才掉下去的时候。”
英语搞笑短篇笑话篇二：
Day after Day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.
After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.
日复一日
一位老师对所讲课文总是非常投入，从不抬头。他常让一个学生来翻译和解释，并且----不自觉地----他常日复一日地叫同一个学生。出于尊敬，学生并不给他指出这一点。
一个叫古德伯格的学生，在被一连叫了四天之后，向他的朋友寻求建议。第二天，这位教师又说：“古德伯格，翻译并解释。”古德伯格回答说：“古德伯格今天缺席。”
“那好吧，”教师说，“那就你来翻译并解释。”
英语搞笑短篇笑话篇三：
Mushroom and Toadstool
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
蘑菇与毒蕈
年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢?年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇。
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