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英语短篇小故事笑话（精选23篇）
学习英语，阅读真的很重要，多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种，下面小编在这里整理了简单英语小笑话，希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇1
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇2
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇3
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇4
A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree. ‘That’s for me, as I am a Fox,’ said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.
‘Good-day, Mistress Crow,’ he cried. ‘How well you are looking to-day: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds.’ The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox. ‘That will do,’ said he. ‘That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future. ’Do not trust flatterers.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇5
A child was careless Ramie stabbed, he rushed home and told his mother: "I only lightly Pengyi what, it was my painful thorns." Mom said: "Because of this, it will thorn you. if the next time you met Ramie, to a courageous and seize it, it will be in your hands become soft as silk, you will no longer be stabbed. "
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇6
i do the normal routine, eat dinner, clean the house, write-the usual stuff. and then i lay down hoping to fall asleep quickly so my new day will hurry up and arrive. a new day with a brand new sun. but as i lay there and wait for the world to turn half way around, i think about her. and sometimes i smile, and sometimes that smile will turn into asnicker, and then often that snicker will turn into a burst of laughter.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇7
Ignorance of the objective world
In the State of Lu, there was a couple of husband and wife, the former being an expert shoemaker and the latter a skilled hand in wearing taffeta. One day after consultations they decided to go to the state of Yue to earn a livelihood. The neighbors advised them not to go when they learned about their plan. "Don't go there," said one neighbor, "If you go, you can never earn a livelihood."
"We cannot understand you," interrogated the couple, "We have a find command of our art, how could we not earn our living with our work? Don't make a fool of us, please."
"Indeed, you have your skill," explained the man, "But have you taken notice of the fact that shoes are made for people and the silk taffeta are for hat-making? The people of Yue don't wear shoes, for they are barefooted. Again, they like to have their hair spread out over their heads and they never use hats. To whom should you sell your shoes and hats then?" Experienced though you are in the arts, yet the arts you have mastered are useless there."
After this explanation, the husband and wife now understood that anything that was not adaptable to the objective world would be useless and unpractical.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇8
Gong sun Long , is a famous scholar lived in the State of Zhao during the Warring States Period (475-221BC). He had kept a circle skilled people around him. He often said, "A wise man should welcome anyone with a specialty."
One day, a man dressed in tattered and dirty clothes came to see him and said to him:" I have a special skill. "
Gong asked: "What is it?"
"I have a loud voice and I'm good at shouting."
then Gong turned to his followers and asked," Who is good at shouting?" But none of them answered "Yes ". So the scholar took the man in.
Some days later, Gong and his followers went on a trip. they came to a wide river and found the ferryboat was on the other side of the river. All of them had no idea. Suddenly, Gong thought of the shouting expert and turned to him, "Can you have a try?" The man realized it was the chance to show his skill. He shouted to the ferryman as loud as he could, "Hey, ferryman, come here, we want to cross the river." As his voice ended, the ferryman came to fetch them. Gong was very satisfied with the new follower.
Later, people use it to describe anyone who has a special professional skill.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇9
is jumping down his window. “Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can’t run faster then me.” Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind, “I must run away,’ the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”
Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What a re you doing?” “I’m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says. “ Thief? Where’s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised. “He’s behind me ,”Witty Hare says proudly.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇10
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇11
It was time for a haircut. Lenny didn’t even have to look in the mirror. Even though he was going bald, he knew that he needed to cut his hair every two weeks.
He had a "tongue" of hair on the top of his head. His hair was thinning at the crown. He still had plenty of hair on the sides and back. It was what they call "salt and pepper," a mixture of gray hair and dark brown hair.
It was only a few years, he figured, until the salt and pepper became just salt.He never let his hair grow for more than two weeks. The longer it got, the worse it looked, he thought.
He spread a newspaper over the bathroom sink so that no hair went down the drain.He plugged in the clippers and started cutting his hair. He started at the back of his head, went to the sides, and finished on the top. Every minute or so, he had to clean the hair out of the blades with an old toothbrush.
Finished, he picked up a hand mirror to check out the back of his head. Everything looked okay. He carried the newspaper back out to the kitchen and shook the hair clippings into the trash can.
Then he took a shower.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇12
The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"
"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇13
Once there was a boy who lived on a farm. Every day he had to take his father’s sheep to a hill. One day he tried to play a trick on the other people. He said to himself. I will call “wolf. wolf.” then everyone come to help me. It will be fun when they find out there is no wolf after all. So he cried: “wolf .wolf.” and everyone ran to help him. When they came he just said: “there is no wolf. It was only a joke.” He did this three times. Then one day a wolf really came. “Help! Help! The wolf is here.” called the boy. But everyone said: “No you know that there is no wolf. He is just calling us for fun. There is no danger.” So they did not go to help the boy. The wolf killed all the sheep then.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇14
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇15
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇16
Juliewas saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "MakeNaples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Hermother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naplesthe capital of Italy?"
AndJulie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇17
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇18
The Sports Meeting in the Forest There are many animals in the forest. Today is a fine day. Animals are having a sport meeting.
Monkey, Fox, Panda, Rabbit and Bear are running. Look! Rabbit is the first. Fox and Monkey are the second. Bear is the third. The other animals are shouting, “Bear! Come on! Bear! Come on!”
And look there, Duck and Pig are doing high jump. Pig is too fat, he can’t jump very high. So Duck is the champion. Here! Cat and Squirrel are climbing a tree. Cat is ill. So he is the last, but he does his best. This sports meeting is wonderful. The animals are very happy!
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇19
One day,a monkey drove his car near a lake.Sudden,he saw a tiger under a tree.The tiger saw him,too.The tiger ran very fast at the monkey.The monkey was very afraid and he and his car fell into the lake.The monkey couldn't swim and he shouted.A rabbit came and he jumped into the lake.The rabbit swam to the monkey but did not help him.Both of them shouted for help.Luckily,a giraffe came along.He was very tall.He helped the rabbit and the monkey.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇20
One day a little ant was walking along the bank of a stream. His foot slipped and he fell into the water. “Oh, help, help!” cried the ant. A dove was sitting on a branch of a tree over the stream and heard his cry of help. “Oh, poor ant!” said the dove. “I will help the ant.”
The dove pulled off a leaf and dropped it near the ant. “Here is a leaf. Climb on it,” said the dove. The ant climbed on it at once and floated to the bank.
A few days after this a hunter found the dove and was going to shoot her. Just then the ant passed by and said to
himself, “This time I must help the dove.” The ant ran to the hunter and bit his foot hard. The hunter sprang up and missed to shoot the dove. The dove said to the ant, “Thank you very much, my little friend. You have saved my life,” and she could fly away happily.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇21
One day a wolf saw a goat on a high cliff. He was jumping to and fro and was grazing.
The wolf wanted to eat him, but he could not climb up there to catch him. So he said to the goat, “Good morning, my good friend Goat! Come down here!
If you slip down the cliff, you will break your neck. And the grass is short and dry up there. Come down! The grass is long and tender here.”
“Thank you, Mr. Wolf, but never mind. I am used to playing here, and I like the grass here better. I would rather eat dry grass than be eaten by a wolf,” said the goat.
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇22
I have nine little goldfish .Eight goldfish are all orange and one is black .I like the black one best.
We call it Xiao Hei .Its body is black .It has two big and round eyes, a small mouth ,and a big tail. Though it＇s very small ,it swims fast .
I often feed them and change water for them. We are good friends .
英语短篇小故事笑话 篇23
There was a farmer in the Song Kingdom in ancient China. He worked in hisfield day after day. In good harvest years, he could only have enough food toeat and enough clothing to wear. If the field failed to produce enough crops, hehad to go hungry. This farmer wanted to improve his life. But he was too lazyand too cowardly. He always dreamed of having unexpected fortune.
A miracle took place at last. One day, when he worked in the field, somepeople were hunting nearby. They shouted loudly one after another. Some littleanimals were running desperately. Suddenly, a hare dashed itself headlongagainst the stump of a dead tree in his field and died.
That day, he had a good meal.
From that day on, he no longer worked in his field. From morning tillnight, he stayed by that miraculous stump, waiting for another hare. Will themiracle happen again?
People often use the set phrase “staying by a stump waiting for more haresto come and dash themselves against it" to refer to persons dreaming to reapwithout sowing.
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